Friending: One Friend Away…

The theme of this series comes from Proverbs 13:20 and it goes like this: walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. You, see the idea I left you guys with last week is simple: EVERY FRIENDSHIP ENDS UP SOMEWHERE. FEW FRIENDSHIPS END UP SOMEWHERE ON PURPOSE. So, what kind of friend will I be? What kind of friendships will you have? YOU MIGHT BE ONE FRIEND AWAY FROM CHANGING THE COURSE OF YOUR DESTINY. I’m going to tell you a fact that you not like: the average American has only 2 real friends in their life at any given time. Friends aren’t just people you know and say hi to. Friends are people who you take care of and they take care of you. I told you last week that I’m so lucky to have a few friends that literally stop what they are doing and fly clear across the country to make sure I’m okay. On the flipside, I’ve dropped everything to turn around and go be with them through the good and bad moments of life. What do you want to do? Become? Accomplish? Achieve? This is all defined by your friends. Case in point: Paul wanted to preach. Let’s go to Acts 9. ²⁶ When (Saul) came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. ²⁷ But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. ²⁸ So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. Acts 9:26-28 Do you know why you guys have Bible study with the same teachers year after year for a long period of time? Do you want to know why you’re in a group with the same people year after year for a long period of time? It’s because we believe that in church, it only takes one person to love you that can change the course of your destiny. When I was 13 years old and in junior high, I was always told I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t have the talent, and that I didn’t have the money. Then when I was 14 and going to high school, I was a small fish in such big school. I was told that I couldn’t do it. That I can’t do it. That it would be impossible. All my “friends” went to these supposed “good” high schools. I didn’t I would amount to anything. That’s when I met these really old people, they were in their early twenties and they still went to high school. They said to me, “you can go do whatever you dream of doing.” I took that to heart and decided I would amount to something. They changed my destiny! I graduated high school when I was 16 and went to the best college in the country—Notre Dame. And you know what? People like me don’t go to schools like that—I went to one of the worst high schools in New York. If you go back to the passage we just read in Acts, we see that when Saul came to Jerusalem, and I don’t know if you’ve covered this in your Bible Study classes yet, but the Christians all thought that he came to Jerusalem to kill them and persecute them. Because of that, the Christians, who are supposed to be like Jesus, were going to shun him out. They were going to do to him what they thought Saul would do to them. But Barnabas, was a true friend and took him to the disciples. Just like Barnabas intervened in the life of Saul with the disciples and changed his destiny from outcast to member of inner circle; you too can have a similar experience where you can go from somebody with shortsightedness in life to somebody who is going somewhere in life. Barnabas’ boldness to intervene in the life of Saul paved the way for him to speak boldly in the name of the Lord. Underline that. Today, I want to introduce you all to a concept that all of you should keep in mind when making new friends. There are three types of friends every person needs. When I say three types of friends, I mean real friends, not people you say hi and bye to. To help us understand these three types of friends, we’re going to look at the life and friends of King David. The reason we’re going to look at him is because he is well known and because he had significant failures, but at the same time, he had so much success. And also, this is the most important part, he was a man after God’s own heart. That’s what the Bible says. But all of that was a culmination of having the right people helping him become the right person. My prayer for all of you students and for you teachers and for you adults in this room this morning is for  you to have the right people help you become the right person. The first type of friend you need is a Samuel. A FRIEND WHO MAKES YOU BETTER. When God rejected Saul as king, Samuel went and chose the next king. When he got to Bethlehem, he thought one of David’s good looking, more physically able older brothers would become the next king. But God says to Samuel, I don’t look at what people look at, I look at the inside of a person. Samuel said, “what?!” Let’s pick up our Bibles and go to 1 Samuel 16. …Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.” ¹³ So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David. (1 Sam 16:12-13) Nobody in the David’s own family would have thought he would be the next king. God puts it on 1 man’s heart that God chooses you and he puts His hand on you. Your life is forever changed. Samuel made David better just by choosing him. Just think about it. We all need a friend who makes us better. In the office, we need colleagues and mentors to teach us and show us the ropes. We need a friend in English Lit to help us understand Shakespeare. We need somebody to challenge us in math so that we can do fast calculations without the help of calculators. At the gym, we need people to show us how to get stronger and to push us a little harder, we need people to teach us to eat right. With money, we need people to help us make smarter and wiser decisions financially and in business, in parenting and with relationships. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Just so you know, when iron sharpens iron, it comes in the form of friction and may hurt a lot, but at the end of the sharpening, it will make you better. The second type of friend you need is a Jonathan. A FRIEND WHO HELPS YOU FIND SPIRITUAL STRENGTH. You guys may not know this, but sometimes I get discouraged after church. The reason I get discouraged is because sometimes things don’t go right. Sometimes, things go very wrong and I need friends who will help get my focus back on God. At one point, Saul hated David so much that he chased him to kill him. Let’s look at what Jonathan did: ¹⁵ While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. ¹⁶ And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 1 Sam 23:15-16. Everybody gets discouraged, everybody needed a friend to help them find spiritual strength. When you’re down he or she will lift you up. When you are alone, he or she will comfort you. That person encourages you with the scripture. That person prays for you. If this is you, you are making a huge difference in people’s lives. Do you have this type of relationship? If not, you are one friend away from changing your destiny. You may be the one person that changes the destiny of one person who calls you a friend. The third type of friend is a Nathan. A FRIEND WHO TELLS YOU THE TRUTH. Nathan tells David a story about how a rich man steals a poor man’s lamb, whom the poor man raised like his own child, and then pretends nothing is wrong. David was so incensed by the story and said to Nathan, that man should die. David didn’t know that Nathan was talking about the hypocrisy of David. Nathan says to David, “you are that man!” (2 Samuel 12:7). You need a friend to tell you the truth. You don’t know this, but my job is to give advice to very important people. That’s what they pay me to do. And a lot of times the advice I give hurts and these very important people sometimes hate me for it. But I tell them that it’s hard to get people to tell you the truth and that listening to people who may agree with you may end up being more detrimental than listening to people who may not necessarily agree with you. Some of us only have friends who don’t tell us the truth, but tell us what we want to hear. This may result in us jumping off someplace, somewhere and ending up in the hospital. ⁵ An open rebuke is better than hidden love! ⁶ Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Prov 27:5-6 NLT We are one friendship away from: better career; leaving depression; becoming a strong leader; overcoming addiction; getting in shape; meeting Christ for the first time. Let’s pray.