Friending: One Community Away

Let me start with a statement: YOU ARE ONE COMMUNITY AWAY FROM CHANGING THE COURSE OF YOUR DESTINY. This all goes back to why we started this series in the first place. I said in the beginning of this series that if you show me your friends, I’ll show you your future. So if you have passionate, hardworking, faithful friends, then you will be passionate, hardworking and faith filled. If you have lazy, critical and self-centered friends, then that’s what you will be. Now, I want to address the people who we call “loners” in the room. You see, in the first week, we talked about the foundation of friendships. In the second week, we talked about the three types of friends that we need. Last week, we talked about why it’s so important to cut people off from influencing us as bad friends. This week, we’re talking about why having a group of friends will make you better, help you find strength when there is none, and shed light onto some truth in your life will change your destiny. “Loners” or people who like to be alone—which is most of us now that we have internet at home and phones to keep us company, create an epidemic that smart people call deferred loneliness. Here’s what that means—it means, our network of friends aren’t even part of our network of friends. They’re just… objects of affection that leave us wanting more. You get a feeling of something missing, or someone missing. Its not just someone, it’s a group of someones. Let me explain this [next slide]– I post/upload/tweet something like, “my mom’s version of homecooked meal: 7-11 big bite for dinner yesterday. #AwesomeMom” And just if you’re wondering, that is what an awesome mom does. If nobody retweets that or leaves feedback, I’ll say to myself, nobody loves me. If somebody retweets that and says, “love you mom” then I’ll feel like somebody cares! I know you’re laughing, but you know its true. When you get feedback from strangers it relieves your momentary loneliness. But there is something that makes you wanting more… Let’s go to the book of Acts, chapter 2. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³ Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶ Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts. Acts 2:42-46 I started to share this story last week—but if I didn’t meet the right people, or if I kept the wrong people in my life, then I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t be at church. I wouldn’t be where I work when I’m not at church. And so on and so forth. But when I started meeting with the right community, and that community toward the end of high school was a bunch of hard working people that dragged me kicking and screaming to church in the middle of the week to volunteer at nursing homes, visiting sick people in the hospital, providing meals to the homeless at the shelter, taking trips together, etc, I would not be here. Everyone serving God in church, all friends trying to love God didn’t happen by accident! Now these are lessons I’ve learned over the past 30 years about great communities that change the course of your destiny. There are three big qualities that we have to remember when we seek to find and make these types of communities.   #1 – REFRIGERATOR RIGHTS. Look at verse 44—“All the believers were together and had everything in common.” I’m going to tell you why this is so important. If you ever visit somebody’s house, you’ll notice that the living room always looks nice. It looks perfect—like nobody lives there. That’s what people want you to see. But, you really belong in somebody’s life if they invite you into the kitchen. Because the kitchen is heartbeat of a home—that’s where you eat, that’s where you have your food, that’s where all the secret sauces are hidden. Moreover, that’s where the refrigerator is. I’ve noticed that great communities that I am a part of allow me refrigerator rights. Let’s forget about kitchen access. When I go to my best friends’ homes and I want something to eat, I don’t ask them, I sometimes don’t even say Hi to them when I go over to their houses, I just go straight to the kitchen and start digging through the refrigerator and I hope to God that they went shopping and if they did, I’m eating their food. If they didn’t go shopping, then I’m eating the bologna and cheese that I found in there that they keep for natural disasters and am making a cheese sandwich. Likewise, when they come over my house, they open my fridge, and take what they want and start eating. The only problem with my house is that if they don’t tell me their coming, there is no food in my refrigerator.   #2 WE ALL HAVE FLAWED FEET. I have a friend who always messed up idioms and I always thought it was because he didn’t know, but then I realized that he just couldn’t remember. But I didn’t realize this then, but I realized this now because I mess up idioms sometimes because I can’t remember anymore. But he would said once, “Jonathan, everybody got ugly feet when you actually see them.” What he meant to say was, “everybody is normal until you get to know them.” I constantly say to him, “so, how ugly are your feet now, you going to show me?” But here’s what I mean by that, let’s go to 2 Samuel 9:13. And Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king’s table; he was lame in both feet. 2 Sam 9:13 Mephilbosheth was the son of Jonathan, David’s best friend. He was handicapped—he couldn’t walk anymore. David took in his friend’s son even though he was not perfect. Even though it was uncomfortable. Even though he could have just given him some money. David took him in and took care of him. They ate like a family. We only begin to have a great community when people in that community aren’t afraid to share their ugly feet with each other. That means we have to be willing to be vulnerable. We have to come to a place where we don’t have to hide our flaws—no makeup, no deodorant, yes showers. If you’re struggling or if your friends are struggling, are you willing to help out and invite them anyways?   #3 WE FIGHT LIONS. Let’s watch this clip from youtube. Woah! In 1^st Peter 5:8, the Apostle writes, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The enemy wants you to be alone and attacked by lions and even crocodiles, but when we are with a community, they come and fight lions when you cannot. This is why it’s so important to have a community of friends. That community starts here at church. The friends you make here and bring here will be the foundation of friends you need to fight lions in life. Let’s pray.