Friending: Unfriending People

This morning I want to radically redefine friendship in a way that is absolutely essential for every follower of Christ. Three weeks ago, I said, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” In that sermon I shared with you how my friends had been shoplifting and I’m the one that got into trouble even though I didn’t do anything wrong. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Here’s one thing that’s certain, you may meet a friend by chance. You may compliment somebody and become their friends by saying hi, but knowing a lot of people isn’t all that important. What’s more important than meeting a new friend is deepening your friendships around you. Let me explain. You can take notes because this works in every situation. The first step in making new friends is to say, “hi, my name is…” The second step in making friends after saying hi is to actually continue the conversation with them. These are the keys to making friends. The thing that is by chance is the location you are at when you say hi. The thing that’s impressive is when you say hi and introduce yourself and get to know other people that you stay loyal to them. Most people don’t have many friends because all they say is hi and they don’t talk to them, they don’t get to know them, they don’t remain loyal to them. Why am I telling you this? Well, simply because a lot of us don’t know how to make friends, but more importantly, we don’t know how to unfriend if we are making the wrong friends. I want you to write this in your notes: IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE THE RIGHT LIFE WHEN YOU HAVE THE WRONG FRIENDS. The Apostle Paul said it this way: Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Some of us go around only introducing ourselves and getting to know the “cool” kids or the “bad” kids. Well guess what, they’re not that cool, nor is anybody as “bad” as you think they are because once you get to know them, they’re all afraid of their mommy! Yeah, I know, it’s a true story. More importantly, we allow them to influence us and be yoked with the wrong crowd of friends. Here’s what I mean, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be friends with the cool kids. In fact, you should be friends with everybody and be THAT cool kid in school or the popular person in the office or in your social circles. It’s good if you love people through your influence. What I’m saying, and what we’re reading in this letter to the Corinthians is that you should make friends and spend time with the right friends—with friends who will not corrupt your character. If you want to live the right life, you cannot have the wrong friends. I know you’re arguing, well the Bible says Jesus was a friend of sinners. I’m going to tell you that is absolutely correct—Jesus was a friend of sinners. But he had a circle of good friends who were called disciples. Jesus loved everyone equally, but he didn’t treat everyone equally. I’m going to come back to this in a little bit. First, two things I won’t let my friends do: DISTRACT ME FROM GOD’S PLAN. Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Matthew 16:23. You may not be familiar with this story, or what’s going on here. Jesus tells his disciples that he has to die on the cross and be raised from the dead in for him to complete the work he was sent to Earth to do. It’s the only way people like us could be saved. Jesus knew it. Peter, should have known it, and probably did know it because Jesus was telling everybody this for years now, yet he was like, “Jesus, you can’t die!” Luckily for us, Jesus didn’t allow Peter, who was one of his closest friends, to distract him from God’s plan. Therefore, here’s an example you’ll understand when you get older: you should not allow your friends talk you out of going to church. People are going to tell you that you don’t need to go to church, but you don’t come to church for people, you come to church to meet with God and worship Him. Moreover, you should not allow your friends talk you into caring more about money than about people.  This is a mistake, your friends may say that you should “use” people to make money even if it kills the person you “use.” That’s wrong! Don’t allow it to happen. You need to defriend that person. You want me to continue? You should not allow your friends care more about fashion and popularity, sports and themselves than God or real people! If you are spending time getting to know and being loyal to and introducing yourself to people who have their mind on the things of men and not of God, then I will tell you right now that you need to unfriend them. You can’t expect to achieve the dreams that God has for you if you are surrounding yourself with people who don’t have God’s dream in mind for you. Second thing you should never allow your friends to do is CONTINUALLY TEMPT ME TO SIN. The young men who had grown up with him replied, “These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’ Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist.  My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’” 1 Kings 12:10-11 Do you see this guys of the king? This is king Rehoboam. He had his “boyz” and they were stupid! They didn’t know anything. Guess what happened when Rehoboam listened these guys—that’s right, he lost 90% of his country! It’s so important not to allow these types of “friends” influence you. You cannot change them, they change you! We have to unfriend them. We cannot allow them into our circle. If they lead you to sin, then they need to be unfriended. I said this last week, whenever you get caught doing something wrong, it’s usually with the wrong people. One thing I won’t stop doing: LOVING PEOPLE WITH THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF CHRIST. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35. Remember how Jesus loved sinners so much that he died for them, er… us. He wants us to do the same. We need to love all people, no matter what. But there is a difference between loving them and allowing them to influence us. The worst thing we can do is be religious snobs! We should never be too good for people. Jesus never unfriended sinners. He loved them. What he did do was distance himself from hypocrites. Let’s go to our memory verse for today from Proverbs 12:26: The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Let’s keep that in mind as we decide who is a vital friend and who we need to unfriend from our lives. Let’s pray.