Father in heaven thank you for giving us breath to worship your holy name. As we celebrate independence, freedom, liberty, let us also hold tight our obligations to love one another and to bear each other’s burdens. Lord we boldly proclaim our love for you with all our hearts, and strength; now help us love our neighbors, communities, and families with that same boldness.

I ask that you provide us with rest and help us find comfort from the hustle and bustle of our lives knowing you reign powerfully in us and around us. Fill our lives with your grace. Provide supernatural rest that gives our souls restoration.

As we study your word, fill us with insight and courage to follow you even when it’s hard. We know life can be chaotic, so let your Spirit rule over the chaos of our lives. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

Too many of us have given up on the relationships we have with our families and perhaps even resigned ourselves to particular parasitic types of relationships with certain individuals. Yes, the relationships suck the life out of you. For example…

• An absentee family member. There are times and occasions they are there, but for the most part, that person isn’t around or all that helpful.
• Maybe it’s abandonment. You or the other person resign yourselves to not trust or commit to each other.
• Maybe it’s codependency. Cleaning up the mess of others, enabling addictions, making excuses.
• Maybe it’s not that clinical and it’s simply jealousy or bitterness. Those attitudes control the narrative between you and the other person and often you see or they see you in that lens creating bigger relational fractures than necessary.

Maybe none of things and your relationships are awesome. If you believe that or if that’s true, kudos, you’re more messed up than the rest of us, and you’re in denial.

Generally, within all toxic relationships or aloof ones, chaos ensues. And that chaos, that disorder, whatever you want to call it, if left unchecked, will slowly eat us alive from the inside out.

I don’t know how your bad relationships affect you, but I do know that when we ask God to reign over that chaos brewing from the relationships, you can experience restoration, healing, and reconciliation. Here’s the truth:

Big Idea: God reigns over the chaos of our relationships

So I love my brother, as much as any brother can love his brother. But we don’t talk much, we don’t really see each other except for a few hours or a few days every leap year or so. We have pretty much an absentee relationship. It’s not because we’re estranged or because we hate each other, but simply because we let life take us from sharing the tiny room in our parents house to our current stations in life—far apart. He’s lived half way around the world for most of our adult lives, it happens. That’s just an excuse by the way.

Well recently, Michelle said to me that Kate and Clara will never know their uncle Justin if I don’t do something more intentional about it. That struck a chord with me because I never knew my own aunts and uncles growing up and the same sins of bad relationships my parents committed, I am repeating.

Isn’t it a shame if your own flesh and blood does not know your own flesh and blood? Like, if my kids were to pass by my brother on the street and he had his arms wide open for a hug, they wouldn’t even notice—he’d just be a strange guy that kind of looks like their dad. It’s so sad. That’s disorder, that is chaos.

When we think about it carefully, the chaos in our relationships are the result of our lack of intentionality. We lack the intention to love them like God loves us so we allow jealousy, bitterness, abandonment, absenteeism, and codependency to become the norm and that causes all sorts of disorder in our lives and subsequently, our society.

So ask me in a few months how I’m doing about making sure my kids know my kid brother. Because here’s what God is teaching me in this text today: he wants to reign over the chaos in my family so my family can testify to his faithfulness.

And I want to challenge all of us: if we have broken relationships, God wants to reign over them for his purposes and for his glory. Are you going to give your relationships over to him, so he can reign over them?

I hope you answer yes because he can reign over your relationships regardless of your:

Point 1: Family’s Chaotic Condition

What we’ve been trying to show you through this series in Genesis is that when you start looking at a family closely, there’s a chaotic condition that afflicts sin upon every subsequent generation, but God remains faithful to his promises.  

Let’s look at this slide. [put up genealogy slide]

• Abraham had a wife, Sarah, who was promised to give birth, but didn’t, so she had him sleep with her servant, Hagar, who bore a son, Ishmael.
• Sarah then kicked Hagar and Ishmael out of her house because she was fearful that Abraham would do the right thing by taking care of Hagar and Ishmael, his son, and that her son, Isaac, would have to “share” and inheritance with her slave’s son.
• Abraham has another wife, Keturah, and she bears him other sons, but only after Sarah dies, so I didn’t put that on this slide.
• The Bible says, he gave those sons gifts and sent them away from his son, Isaac. Probably as a means of ensure Isaac gets everything.
• So Issac is the guy. Now Isaac marries Rebekah. Great! They have two sons, Esau and Jacob. Also great!
• Isaac in his old age prefers Esau, but because of some trickery from Rebekah, Jacob gets the blessing of his father Isaac.
• The same dumb things that Abraham and Sarah did to Isaac and Ishmael to pit family against each other, Issac and Rebekah do, but regardless, God still loves him.
• So Jacob runs away to Laban’s house, his mom’s brother.

While at Laban’s house, the Bible says Jacob falls in love Rachel, the second daughter of Laban. Laban agrees to give Jacob Rachel’s hand in marriage in exchange for seven years of labor. But Laban deceives Jacob on the wedding day by giving Jacob his first daughter, Leah, instead of Rachel, who Jacob thought he was marrying.

Laban justifies his deception by arguing that family tradition says that he can’t possibly marry off his second daughter, Rachel, until his first daughter, Leah, is married. So, Jacob consummates the marriage with Leah and a week later, marries Rachel in exchange for another seven years of labor. So Jacob goes from wanting to marry one woman, being deceived by his uncle, to now having two wives in a span of 7 days. You see the pattern in chaos here?

• Leah, his first wife, bears Jacob his first four children. Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah.
• Rachel being jealous of her sister’s motherhood, gives Jacob her slave, Bilhah, as a wife.
• Now, Jacob has three wives. Bilhah, has two sons, Dan and Naphtali.
• This makes Leah bitter because now her sister’s side of the family starting to have kids and she’s losing favor.
• Leah gives Jacob, her slave Zilpah, as a wife. Zilpah gives Jacob two sons, Gad and Asher.
• Then Leah has two more sons: Issachar and Zebulun and then a daughter, Dinah.
• Finally, Rachel, who was barren, has two sons in Jacob’s older age, Joseph and Benjamin.
• Because of the chaos created by his family, Jacob now has four wives, 12 sons and at least one daughter.

That’s a big family. Laban now wants to kick Jacob out because it’s causing too many problems. So Jacob heads back to his homeland in Canaan. On his journey back God renames Jacob to Israel. But even after the experience with his uncle, Jacob, now Israel hasn’t changed his ways, he confronts Esau to ask for forgiveness in a shifty way: making sure his kids from lessor valued relationships are placed up front as fodder to Esau’s warriors who are riding to meet them.

Now, the children of Israel inherit all the dysfunction brought on by hate, jealousy, rivalry, deception. Yet this is the origin story of the nation of Israel—God’s chosen.

The first family of Israel is so messed up and yet God still chooses involve himself with them. So rest assured, your messed up family is not an outlier, it’s just perfect for God to want to involve himself with.

Let’s go to Genesis 37. We’re going to pick up the story in verse 9 and see the chaos unfold in generation of Israel’s kids.

⁹ Then [Joseph] dreamed another dream and told it to his brothers [I want you all to know that Joseph at this time was like 17 years old] and said, “Behold, I have dreamed another dream. Behold, the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” ¹⁰ But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and your brothers indeed come to bow ourselves to the ground before you?” ¹¹ And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind.

In terms of birth order, Joseph, he is the 11^th child. He is the oldest child of the most cherished wife. He is the son Israel has in his old age, after trying so hard all those years to conceive. Joseph not only lacked self-awareness, but he spoiled and preferentially treated. How else can you fathom sharing such a narcissistic dream so blatantly? But you also see how our unintentionality can impact another generation?

Not too long after the dream is shared with his brothers, Israel sends Joseph to check on his brothers. Verse 18.

¹⁸ They saw [Joseph] from afar, and before he came near to them they conspired against him to kill him. ¹⁹ They said to one another, “Here comes this dreamer. ²⁰ Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. Then we will say that a fierce animal has devoured him, and we will see what will become of his dreams.”

²¹ But when Reuben heard it, he rescued him out of their hands, saying, “Let us not take his life.” ²² And Reuben said to them, “Shed no blood; throw him into this pit here in the wilderness, but do not lay a hand on him”—that he might rescue him out of their hand to restore him to his father. ²³ So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the robe of many colors that he wore. ²⁴ And they took him and threw him into a pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it.

Reuben, being the oldest should know better. He starts to do the right thing by trying to protect his spoiled kid brother by not allowing his other brothers kill him in cold blood. But instead of actually protecting him, he slips and introduces the idea that Joseph would just naturally die if they simply throw him into a pit nobody knows exists because it has no water in it, and they wouldn’t get their hands bloody. After all, cold blooded murder is sinful.

The Bible says his intention was that he would eventually do the right thing, but until that time, it would have just been a slow, suffering, type of death. Isn’t that funny how we always allow bad relationships fester in the hopes of one day, things will change? Intentionality only gets you so far, you got to back it up with actions. Verse 25.

²⁵ Then [the brothers] sat down to eat. [Joseph was alone in the pit, probably starving] And looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing gum, balm, and myrrh, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. ²⁶ Then Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? ²⁷ Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers listened to him. ²⁸ Then Midianite traders passed by. And they drew Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. They took Joseph to Egypt.

Not many of our families would sell us at the first opportunity they got. But that’s exactly what happened. They sold Joseph, consigning him to a lifetime of hardship and eventual death in anonymity, away from family, all for two pieces of silver each. Verse 31.

³¹ Then [the brothers] took Joseph’s robe and slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. ³² And they sent the robe of many colors and brought it to their father and said, “This we have found; please identify whether it is your son’s robe or not.” ³³ And he identified it and said, “It is my son’s robe. A fierce animal has devoured him. Joseph is without doubt torn to pieces.” (Genesis 37:9-33 ESV)

To top off the fact that Joseph’s brothers sold him away, they couldn’t even directly confront their dad with the bad news. Their father was messengered Joseph’s coat and he came down with his own conclusions. They didn’t even have the gall to lie to him after their treachery.

Maybe your relationships are not as blatantly dysfunctional, but the outcomes are the same: you are hurt by them or they are hurt by you. The good news is that, despite the sins committed within a relationship:

Point 2: God has Providential Control

Let’s pick up the story in chapter 39. Verse 1.

¹Now Joseph had been brought down to Egypt, and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the guard, an Egyptian, had bought him from the Ishmaelites who had brought him down there. ² The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. ³ His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands. ⁴ So Joseph found favor in his sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had. ⁵ From the time that he made him overseer in his house and over all that he had, the Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake; the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had, in house and field. (Genesis 39:1-5 ESV)

This is the first low point in Joseph’s life. Until now, he was the favorite child, he was daddy’s baby boy. The dreamer who didn’t have to work like his brothers, but was sent to check in with them. But now he is a slave, he has to work and earn a keep. But God’s providential control shows up in Joseph’s life.  

You’d think if God is in control that Joseph’s life would only go up from here, but it doesn’t. He hits another low point. Potiphar, had a sexually promiscuous wife. She’s been trying to sleep with Joseph and he wouldn’t give her the time of day. He’d run away when he saw her advance. Well, she failed seducing him, so, as revenge, she falsely accuses him and Joseph is thrown in jail.

Joseph goes from slave to convict. Verse 20.

²⁰ And Joseph’s master took him and put him into the prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined, and he was there in prison. ²¹ But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. ²² And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in the prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it. ²³ The keeper of the prison paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph’s charge, because the Lord was with him. And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed. (Genesis 39:20-23 ESV)

When God puts his hand on you, he doesn’t take his hand off you. Understand this about God’s providential control in our lives: There is no shaking God or getting rid of his favor. His steadfast love is always on you and me because of the work of Jesus Christ on the cross.

The circumstances of our lives may impact our place in society, but not the steadfast love of God on our lives. Whether you are a outcast, enslaved, or imprisoned, God’s hand is on you when Jesus Christ is your savior and that makes you a beloved and highly favored child of God.

If you are in a low point in life because the circumstances of broken relationships, know that God’s providential control. God is blessing us in our humiliation and our setbacks for his purposes. He blesses us as a means to open doors for ministry. Ministry is just a fancy way to say purpose. Your purpose is to be a blessing to others because God’s favor is on you and he is blessing you with his steadfast love so that blessing can be poured out in excess to others.

That’s why we keep encouraging you to join life groups, to give, to serve. All of you who have stepped into the opportunities know that if it weren’t for you, others wouldn’t have had the opportunity to receive the blessing that they did. Make it your priority to minister the blessings of God and fulfill the purposes God has for you. All you need to do is step into it with faith.

Joseph had to go to prison to be given an opportunity to minister to the Pharoah’s chief cupbearer and chief baker. They messed up somehow and they were thrown into prison. As a result, an opportunity arose for Joseph to purposefully or intentionally bless these two guys in prison. That’s his ministry.

That’s what Joseph did. He tells these guys, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Please tell them to me.” These guys each had a dream and Joseph interprets the dreams for them. He ministers to others using what he has in faith. Go to chapter 41.

Two years passed since Joseph interpreted the Pharoah’s cupbearer’s dream. The cupbearer had long forgotten about Joseph. Then Pharoah himself had two dreams that the magicians and wisemen of Egypt couldn’t interpret. That reminded the cupbearer of Joseph. Verse 14.

¹⁴ Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they quickly brought him out of the pit. [don’t you love how the bible refers to prison as the pit? The same way they referred to the place Joseph’s brother threw him into when they were trying to kill him?] And when he had shaved himself and changed his clothes, he came in before Pharaoh. ¹⁵ And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I have had a dream, and there is no one who can interpret it. I have heard it said of you that when you hear a dream you can interpret it.” ¹⁶ Joseph answered Pharaoh, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.” (Genesis 41:14-16 ESV)

Two years since Joseph placed his trust in God and ministered in faith. He continued to remain imprisoned, even though he was innocent. Nobody cared or remembered. But God remembers. God is faithful. It’s because God is faithful to those whom he loves and chooses, that we get to experience:

Point 3: Christ’s Redeeming Work

That’s the good news. When we admit the fact that we need Jesus, because, like Joseph we’re living in a pit imprisoned by the penalties of our sins; imprisoned by the chaos of our relationships, God faithfully redeems us through his son, Jesus Christ.  

We are redeemed because Jesus received punishment of our sins in his death on calvary. Our sins past, present, and in the future poured onto him on the cross. Jesus paid the price we could not pay for our sins and died. On the third day, God raised Jesus from the dead. It is in Jesus’ resurrection that we have hope, that the chaos in our lives will not define us. That we are heirs of God, of his kingdom.

I want you to see how God redeems Joseph’s life. Joseph not only interprets Pharoah’s dream. The spirit of God allows Joseph to give Pharoah a plan of action that is tangible and practical to bless an entire nation. Verse 37.

³⁷ This proposal pleased Pharaoh and all his servants. ³⁸ And Pharaoh said to his servants, “Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?” ³⁹ Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are. ⁴⁰ You shall be over my house, and all my people shall order themselves as you command. Only as regards the throne will I be greater than you.” ⁴¹ And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “See, I have set you over all the land of Egypt.” ⁴² Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his hand and put it on Joseph’s hand, and clothed him in garments of fine linen and put a gold chain about his neck. ⁴³ And he made him ride in his second chariot. And they called out before him, “Bow the knee!” Thus he set him over all the land of Egypt. (Genesis 41:37-43 ESV)

All those low points Joseph endured, it gave him the ability to become more than just a dreamer to an actual doer. Christ’s redemption is no more evident than at a time like this. It’s because God is providentially in control that this type of outcome is possible—Joseph is redeemed for God’s glory. Joseph goes from hated teenage brother, slave, convict, now, the governor of Egypt.

But Christ is still redeeming Joseph’s life. A lifetime later, God is still faithful and is about to bring healing and reconciliation to a broken family. Just as Joseph interpreted in Pharoah’s dream, there was 7 years of plenty in the land where Joseph was able to execute on the plan he articulated for Pharoah. Then 7 years of famine began. Now enter Joseph’s estranged family. He spent half his life without a family. He was dead to them and they were dead to him. Go to chapter 45, verse 3 to pick up the story again.

³ And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. ⁴ So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. ⁵ And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. ⁶ For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. ⁷ And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. ⁸ So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. ⁹ Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not tarry. ¹⁰ You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children, and your flocks, your herds, and all that you have. ¹¹ There I will provide for you, for there are yet five years of famine to come, so that you and your household, and all that you have, do not come to poverty.’ (Genesis 45:3-11 ESV)

The family finally reconciled because God reigns over the chaos of their relationships through Christ’s redeeming work in our lives. For the first time in the Abraham saga, we see the blessings of God flow to each son in fullness—to the nation of Israel – all because God is faithful and he reigns in the chaos of our relationships.

Genesis ends in chapter 50 with Israel passing away and Joseph’s brothers worrying about retaliation, after all, they sold him off to die. But Joseph’s response shows us that Christ’s redemption changes a person from the inside out. He responds in verse 19, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” (Genesis 50:19b-21 ESV)

• God wants to reign over the chaos in our relationships for his purposes.
• Jesus already proved on the cross that his glory will not be denied.
• Are you ready to give the chaos of your relationships over to him, so he can reign over them?
• If yes, don’t wait. Christ’s redeeming work is available to you and to your relationships now.
• Choose Christ to reign in your life.

Let’s pray.

Father in heaven, reign in the chaos of our relationships. I pray over our broken relationships. Bring healing. Some of us are living in pain, some of us are living with hurt, some of us, we’re oozing with trauma. Give us healing, and comfort. Bring us peace in your redemption. The hate, jealousy, or whatever other sinfulness that causes us to be separated from you, Lord, I ask that you remove them from our lives. Reign in our lives. Reign with love. There are some today who need to choose you for the first time. Let this be the moment that they choose your son in faith. Let them come to you, confessing that they need you and give them an assurance that you will not forsake them, that you will not leave them. In Jesus name Amen.