We’re in this crazy series called “hashtag struggling” where we talk about five things that we’re feeling but not hashtagging on social media. Last week we learned that contentment was something we’re always struggling with how understated it is in our highlight reel of social media. Contentment, we said, was a struggle because we’re looking at other people’s social media thinking that the grass is greener, the cars are fancier, the dinners tastier than our own bap and kimchi. This morning I want to look at the struggling of relationships. I think in the 21st century our relationships have become subject to incredible tension and therefore struggles. Like, I don’t think I actually have conversations with people over the phone anymore. All my conversing is mostly done over email and text message. So when I’m actually conversing with somebody and having a conversation, I don’t understand what they’re saying to me, but when that person sends me an email or a text message, it makes so much sense. It’s like I’m living in a world where I can get a text from somebody I know with just two words and feel instantly connected. Those two words being, “Yo man.” I love how we can connect using technology, at the same time, I think we struggle with relationships because of it and are often distracted from what God intended through it. I want to go to our memory verse for this morning, it comes from John 13:34-35, It goes like this: 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Technology has set us on a trend where the term “friend” is evolving. Here’s what I mean, back a few years ago when I had a Facebook account and all that jazz, I had a little under 1,000 “friends”. And I wasn’t one of those people that randomly add people to my Facebook if I had met them at Starbucks, either. I had, at some point or another been friends with these people. I read somewhere, I don’t know where or remember where, that the average adult Facebook user has about 328 friends on Facebook. But when you ask the average American about whether or not they have any “close” friends, they would say they have 2 close friends, on average and 25% say they don’t have any close friends. I know right, it’s kind of nuts when you think about your own friends list—like how many of those friends do you even talk too? I think I only have a group of 3 or 4 close friends. Those thousand people who were friends with me on facebook, well they are more acquaintance than anything. But I think there also is a problem because of it. Having thousands of followers or friends or whatever you want to call it, makes us addicted to immediate affirmation. Have you ever had this conversation in your head—he liked it, she liked it not. Why didn’t she? I put it up because I thought she would like it by now. Why hasn’t she liked it yet, it’s already been 37 seconds since I posted that picture! I know this instant gratification by strangers stimulates the dopamine in our brain and we can’t get enough. The funny thing is that the person that liked your photo is that weird “friend” that all of us have that always seems to be online and always liking everything we do, and we’re like, “man, I don’t even like you.” But that’s okay because he liked it. I think this is the strangest part of technology in our relationships, it allows us to have the power to do friendships on our own terms. Here’s what I mean because this is all connected so far. Just asking, do you have people or know people or maybe are the people that respond to texts only when it’s convenient. Like, you get a text message saying, “SOS. Emergency.” But you don’t respond because it’s inconvenient for you, you’re watching a TV show and can’t push pause in the middle. Then four days go by and then you send a response when you’re bored in the bathroom, “just got this, you okay?” Yeah. I know. I know what you do to people that respond too quickly to your posts and are always putting their weird comments on your wall – you unfriend them, you unfollow them. There’s a correlation to the increased use of social media: the more you use it, the more you crave personal interaction, and yet the more connected you are, the more alone you feel. The good news is that we have a remedy to this situation of social media causing us to be less personable. It is called the power of presence. I mean, just imagine if Jesus saved us from death and sin view a Facebook posting that said “follow me and live.” It would have saved him the trouble of becoming a mere human, fragile and broken. It would have meant that the world didn’t really have to know how it would be to walk with God. Jesus came on to this earth because there is a power of presence. The Bible even tells us a story of being in the presence of Jesus that heals the sick. That woman, in the midst of a crowd came in touch with the presence of Jesus’ garment and she was immediately healed. There is great power in presence. Look at Hebrews 10:24-25. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV) Without meeting with people, it is impossible to stir up one another to love and do good works. You can’t do good works on the internet because you’re not working on the internet, you’re just surfing the internet. The writer of the Hebrews knew that believing in Jesus was not good enough, we had to follow Jesus in his presence and get into the habit of meeting together. It is even more important now that the end is drawing near, the writer says. If you want to capture the power of presence, I’m going to give you two ways you can do this in your life right now. I don’t care how old you are or where you are. This power is everywhere you are and it’s so so simple that we should all be engaged in it. The first way we capture the power of presence is this: Be present. Let’s say that you have a friend who is hurting, how do you really love them? My dad died eight years ago, and this is what I remember—I had a group of “friends” who said sorry to hear that. Then I had another group of friends who flew half way across the country, they dropped whatever it was they were doing, and came out of the way to mourn my dad’s death with me. That’s the power of presence. That’s what it means to be there with somebody. Look at what Romans 12:9-13 says: Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord  enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 NLT) It’s so easy to do nothing. It’s a little less easy to send a text message or email. It’s much more difficult but much more meaningful to be present. I know you’re busy doing nothing with your lives, you should make time to be present in the lives of people you say you love. Don’t just pretend to love others, really love them. You go and do for them exactly what you would need to feel loved. Everything short of that is wrong and you need to hate it. Don’t be lazy. This being present is serving God. I love this in verse 13. I want us to spend another minute just looking at this verse. It says “when God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.” Let me tell you something about God’s people—they are always in need. That when, is always. There isn’t a single time in your life or in mine or in the Bible where God’s people are not in need. Jesus says to disciples that the needy will always be there, He will be murdered on a cross, and hung for sins he didn’t commit, but the needy will always be there. Be eager to be present. That means some of you have to go out of your way to have lunch or grab coffee with people who are in need. It is the difference between praying for, because everybody in the world can “pray for” somebody, it’s a whole different thing when you are praying with God’s people who are in need. Last thing on how to harness the power of presence: be engaged. Not just physically be there, be there emotionally too, be fully engaged. I’m guilty of this because this is how I treat things—by multitasking, it drives Michelle crazy. I can be watching a movie, texting, reading a magazine, surfing the net and talking with her all at the same time. That’s not being engaged with anything. Sure I get a lot of stuff done, but I’m not engaged in anything. The Apostle Peter writes in 1 Peter 4: Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. (1 Peter 4:8-9 NLT) Deep love is engagement, it is sharing your personal space. The Apostle writes, “share your home and share a meal and a place to stay.”  Put your phones away at lunch. When you’re at church, stop staring at your phones, you’re not so important that you need to have your tablets and phones glaring at your negative 6 eyes. You already got horrible eye sight, why are you messing up your relationships too? Don’t just say you will pray for them—do it! Don’t just like something—do something. Look at 1st John 3:18: Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. If you’re struggling with relationships, it’s time we stop talking about it and actually spend time doing something with them. Let’s pray.

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