The Right Partnership: Responsibility

It’s glaringly apparent that finding somebody who meets your standard of responsibility just doesn’t exist anymore and if that person does exist, it’s like finding a diamond in the rough. The sad part is that we see “responsibility” as synonymous to an obligation– like caring for our elderly or frail parents. I want to make it clear to you that taking care of an obligation does not make a person responsible. In fact, taking care of an obligation is only the bare minimum. The bare minimum should be expected at the very least, a person can’t get lower than this. I know, most people can’t even live up to their obligations. Don’t confuse people who are responsible and people who fill obligations. They are two different things and can lead people down two very different paths. What we fail to recognize is how much our lives are hindered by our irresponsibility– that is not our ability to meet minimal expectation, but to go out of our way to take a burden we never had to or were expected to. Additionally, if we had partners who were not irresponsible themselves, our life journeys may be incredibly different. If bad, bitter memories serve me right, I know the problem stems from the number of times you’ve been burned by going out of your way to be “responsible” for somebody else. I mean, how many times have you had to pick up the slack for somebody else? You probably can’t count the number of times this week! More importantly, and I know this sticks out in the back of your recent memories, how many times has anybody, or at least any of your supposed life partners picked up any responsibility for you? Now don’t worry about a thing, my daughter. I will do what is necessary, for everyone in town knows you are a virtuous woman. – Ruth 3:11 Boaz was passed out drunk in the barn when Ruth crept up to his feet that night and startled him. She did so, not to take advantage of a drunk man, because that would be sad and pathetic, but under the direction of her mother-in-law, to redeem her household. Boaz was a man of responsibility. He understood the poverty Ruth lived in. He took responsibility for people he had no obligation to be responsible for. He took upon himself, the burden of their survival, first by letting Ruth come and go freely to pick grains; and secondly, by marrying her. You see, Ruth could have been stoned to death according to Israelite law if she was caught having a one night stand, trying to blackmail a wealthy man. This happens in chapter 3. Boaz could have outted her. But instead, he takes responsibility for her, even though he had no obligation to. He brought her into his household so both Ruth and Naomi could survive. Boaz marries her and becomes the great grandfather of King David. It’s a great story and could have the makings of a wonderful Hollywood story, but you’re probably questioning whether the 21st century even has a place for this type of responsibility. When Boaz stepped out of his way, not only to save her the embarrassment of her act of desperation, but also by redeeming her life and the bloodline of the family; he changed the status quo. The life path she was destined toward, now became a defunct road never to be taken. This is the power of “responsibility.” When we take responsibility for the people in our lives, we alter their paths and that is part of the work Jesus teaches us to do as his followers. This is what makes somebody who is “responsible” a person who is worthy of a partnership. A person who can step up and go beyond what is expected to cover over somebody and something they had no interest or stake in, is a person you can trust to take responsibility for your own life. As such, I want to ask you today, are you “responsible” for your partners or are you just filling an “obligation” towards them? Do you have people who are “responsible” for you or are you just an “obligation?”